Delicious

Recipes for the Lazy

by Alex

Fake Risotto

1/2 can cream corn

leftover rice

1  chopped onion

assorted veggies

and egg OR

cheapass meat

sugar

salt

soy sauce

1. Stir-fry the onions until they are nice and brown

2. If you have cheapass meat, cook that until it is browned on the outside, then set aside.

3. Add your leftover rice. Cook it for a while.

4. Add the cream corn. Cook it and let the liquid get absorbed/evaporated.

5. Add your veggies. If they take a while to cook, add them while the cream corn is still 'vaporating.

6. Add your cooked cheapass meat. Or scramble your eggs in the pan if you have eggs. Nuke 'em til done.

7. Add your seasonings to taste. You can even add curry if you so wish. 

Rice Cooker Noodles

Instant Noodles

Whatever else you like

1. This is really easy. Just use your rice cooker to boil some water and cook your dumb noodles.

Easy Soup

Some amount of chicken broth

small amount of uncooked rice

Green seasoning veggie like green onions or cilantro

Bits of leftover meat

Nice Veggies

salt and pepper to taste

1. Tie your gross green crap together in a bundle so you can fish it out and throw it away later. Or not if you actually like that crap.

2. Pour everything together in a big pot. Make sure there is a lot more broth than rice. Don't put in that much rice. The rice is only there to make this seem filling.

3. Boil the crap out of it until the rice is soggy and lumpy and cooked.

4. I told you this was easy soup.

"American" Fried Crap

leftover fried rice/noodles

ketchup

a lot of onions 

1. Mix everything together in a microwaveable bowl.

2. Nuke it until it's done

3. It's American because of the ketchup.

Fake Spaghetti

boiled noodles of any kind

ketchup

chopped onions

chopped tomatoes

whatever you like in your sauce (preferably leftovers)

seasonings.

1. Stir-fry your onions until browned.

2. Add in the chopped tomatoes and stir-fry until not raw.

3. Add in what you like in your sauce. Cook it until hot.

4. Add a bunch of ketchup.

5. Add your boiled noodles and toss them with your crappy sauce.

6. This spaghetti is the Chinese version of Western food. Its analogue would be the Western version of Chinese food. Both are completely misguided yet somehow tasty.