Bizarre Threats

Don't tell these to people who are actually threatening you.

1. "I'm going to slice off your nipples with a fruit knife."

2. "See this stick? It's going right through your navel."

3. "I'm going to throw you under a wagon."

4. "If you do that one more time, I'll eat your fingernails."

5. "I'll scar you with this most painful loaf."

6. "I'm sending you to the old man's home minus five inches of entrail."