Nevada

For some reason, all the television shows have been mentioning some state I have never heard of before.

NeVAAAAAAAWWWWWWda. 

Where is that place? I think it's next to California, but the only state I can think of that's even close to this Nevaaaawwwwda is Nevada pronouced with an 'a' as in 'cat'.

Nevaawwwwwda? 

New Songs for Today, Old Songs for Tomorrow

Timorerry Jones

Oh Timorerry Jones he had a cat,

Had a cat,

Oh yes he had a cat.

Oh Timorerry Jones he had a cat.

YES! He had a cat.

(Repeat with random items that one can own)

Fava Bean

Fava Bean,

What have you seen,

Do you know my uncle?

Fava Bean,

Where have you been,

Have you met my aunt?

Henry Kissenger's Menagerie

Henry Kissenger had a cat,

Had a cat,

Had a cat.

Henry Kissenger had a cat,

It's name was Betsy Kissenger.

(Repeat with other animals (always name Betsy Kissenger))

Russian Folk Tunes

Your mom smells.

Your mom smells.

She eats bacon,

And is a Czechoslovakian. 

Great Idea

Bagels with Beards.

Television Talk

Hey! You! Have you seen "The Prisoner"? Well, go watch it, and then write a ten page essay on the meaning of the last episode. 

Or just watch it so I can argue about it with you. Besides, I bet you already have a HUGE crush on Patrick McGoohan. 

HUGE crush.

Size of a brontosaurus.

Dinner Crepes

So yesterday (it's almost five A.M., which means I ate dinner yesterday) I had crepes for dinner! This was a very intelligent and healthy move because the crepes were homemade and filled with oranges. Ignore the part where the crepes were also eaten with a huge amount of chocolate chips and ice cream. Crepes are a healthy choice for dinner! They are also very easy to make, so no recipe this time because there are plenty online and I didn't do anything special. Plus Colton makes MUCH better crepes than I do. Colton's Crepes: delicious, not lumpy, cooked to perfection. Oh yummy.

Next time on "Crepes for Dinner"-

Add some lemon zest

Add the wet ingredients to the flour, not vice versa (lumps)

Savory crepes (too lazy to defrost and fry sausages)(that sounds dirty)

This will not happen today because PARENTS are coming and according to father, we are going to Burger King for dinner (lies, dad hates fast food and is actually Alan Greenspan). (I am also up earlier than five A.M. because parents are coming and I was so excited I couldn't sleep (this has happened before, see Christmas and birthdays and any exciting event).) Saturday sounds like a good day for dinner crepes. This time, they will be savory crepes, with sausages and onions and garlic. 

Other Noteworthy Items of Interest

1. Mustang Ranch has been finished. If you have been following this tale, cheer for joy! For those of you who haven't, sorry. It's not the "great American story". Ha ha ha!

2. I forgot to take pictures of my aunt and uncle's scary statunes because I was too engrossed in their book collection. But I did take five hundred million pictures of cats?

I Am Superstitious

So there has to be a fourteenth entry STAT.

I decided there should be some real content here, so some talk about "pataphors." I just realized that about everything I say in public is a pataphor. (I make more sense in writing because I can press the "delete" key. Those of you that see me in person know that my brain sometimes (always) goes into some weird dimension where owls have beards and cats can wear underwear too. ) Two degrees of separation from reality? You bet! 

Comparison between metaphor and pataphor:

Metaphor- Her eyes glistened like a duck's back.

Pataphor- Her eyes glistened, the back of the brown duck at William Puff's pond. The duck was searching for bread crumbs thrown by the tourist Saline Brunsby. Saline had bought an entire loaf of discount Wonderbread at the ol' seven and seven just across the street for the express purpose of throwing to the ducks and occasional goose. The geese and ducks did not like each other, and engaged in waterfowl play. (ohhhh bad pun alert!) Saline did not enjoy avian violence, so she tried to limit her bread-throwing activities to areas populated by only ducks. Sometimes, a rowboat would appear and the waterfowl would scatter while Saline waved to the occupants. It was a nice day. 

This is a daily occurrence in Alex Land. Please try not to move there.